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theodwulf

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There Is A Frigid White Substance Descending From The Sky! [Dec. 5th, 2009|12:27 pm]
Heavy Snow + College Campus With Very Old Architecture + At Least Twenty Different Church/School/Whatever Bells Within a Half Mile Radius + A Student Body who is Terrified of Snow and is Therefore Hiding = Very Picturesque.

The Basilica in particular looked like supernatural film noir was about to happen.
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Someone Ought to Write This. [Dec. 1st, 2009|02:57 pm]
You know how in Sci Fi and Fantasy there's sometimes the "Proud Warrior Race Guy?" Klingons in Star Trek, Orcs in Warcraft, Thanagarians (however you spell that) in DC Comics, you must have seen an example of what I'm talking about.

They're very martial, very aggressive, very disciplined. They're probably pretty stoic. They might have tribes, or clans. They might mention their ancestors often. They might not be very book-smart, but they have a great fund of wisdom, often in the form of traditional proverbs. They'll usually be the most religious member of the ensemble cast, in a way that everyone else thinks slightly ridiculous. And almost every time they open their mouths, the word 'honor' comes out.

Has there ever been a story in which humans were the Proud Warrior Race Guys?

Not in the sense of "there's some tribal dude, and the other humans are not tribal, so he ends up being the PWRG," I mean a setting that puts the entire human race in the position of being PWRGs. And sure, you could so it by exaggerating certain human qualities--all those characteristics I listed above are features that real human cultures have or have had--while suppressing others, but I'm talking about humans acting normal, but in a setting that makes them look like Proud Warriors, as a Race.

It would have to be a setting in which the aliens (assuming it is aliens) were pacifists, secularists, and consequetialists, in order for normal human behavior to come off as notably warlike, religious, or honor-obsessed. Maybe such a society is facing invasion, and the humans, who for eons have been laughed at as rubes or even discriminated against as unenlightened, are suddenly now the only ones capable of actual fighting. That sounds like it might work out.

The only problem there is that I can't see a REAL Proud Warrior Race Guy tolerating such an honorless society.

But maybe that's the premise of the sequel.
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The Pride of Chippewa Falls Wisconsin. [Nov. 30th, 2009|10:36 pm]
Leinenkugel's Berry Weiss is a Honey-Wheat beer flavored with Loganberry, Blackberry, and Elderberry juices.

It is also the most delicious beer I have ever tasted.

Every single one of you needs to go out and try it right now. Go to Wisconsin if you have to.
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Someone Ought to Like This. [Nov. 17th, 2009|06:00 pm]
That's someone in a specific, and not an indefinite, sense.

So I was riding the subway today, wearing this, (which is made by [info]kamenkyote ) and a random man randomly says "So what's the story behind the monkey?"

I did not know what he was talking about, and indeed did not even realize he was talking to me. I told him as much.

"The monkey. On your shirt. What's the story behind it?"

I told him that there wasn't a story, and it wasn't a monkey.

"But I'm sure I've seen lots of other people wearing shirts with that monkey on it!"

I pointed out that A) that was not really very likely and B) even if it were, that wouldn't mean there was a story behind it and C) it's not a monkey, it's an otter.

"C'mon, you can tell me! I mean, it's a nice shirt, I just wanna know what the monkey's story is!"

I said there really wasn't one. It's an otter, on a shirt. End of story.

Thankfully that was when we got to my stop.
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This Is Why I Don't Watch The News. [Nov. 9th, 2009|08:44 am]
Back when they first started talking about reforming the healthcare thing, I was cautiously optimistic. Because even though it was the government, who if they can find a way to screw it up, will, the healthcare situation was bad enough that I honestly didn't think there was a way for them to make it any worse.

I should have had more faith in my government, it turns out.

The bill that just passed apparently makes it illegal for an insurance company to turn you down on the basis of pre existing medical condition.

Isn't that good, you say?

No, no it isn't. It doesn't do a damn thing about the real problem, which is enormous malpractice suits and the even more insurance that doctor's have to get to cover them. All this id going to do is give insurance companies an excuse to raise everybody's rates through the roof.

You thought you were having trouble affording insurance before, just wait till your company says "well, we're legally obliged to take a loss on Mr. Jones who has a glandular disorder, so we're gonna go ahead and double what you have to pay us. And you have to take it, because all the other companies are raising their prices at the same time."

I understand that people with pre-existing conditions need healthcare, and that they've had a hard time getting any: this is one of the reasons I had last summer for thinking that they couldn't very well make things any worse.

But making sure people with pre-existing conditions can afford insurance by making sure that nobody else can isn't the way to go about it.
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Excerpt From Technomancer's Research Notes. [Oct. 23rd, 2009|12:07 pm]
12:07 PM: It's not that the Middle Ages had the wrong idea about witches.

It's more as if they had the right idea for the wrong reason? Or the right idea without knowing why. One of the two.

It's not that there's anything really wrong with witchcraft, as a technique of magic. Nothing about it per se that means you have to go around blighting crops, drying up wells, causing miscarriages, bringing plagues, giving people warts, bringing bad luck, etc. It's just that the sort of person who is really good at witchcraft is also the sort of person who can't think of anything to do with it but blighting crops, drying up wells, causing miscarriages, bringing plagues, giving people warts, bringing bad luck, etc.

Preferred method of disposal seems to have been burning. Seems sensible. Investigate.

3:27 PM: Discovered statistically significant trend. Witch attacks increase in frequency and dispersion directly proportional to the percent in which burning has replaced ducking as penalty for Witchcraft. Suggests burning ineffective? More research needed.

9:15 PM: Note that common wisdom does report violent antipathy to water on part of notable witches: Wicked Witch of West in particular. Therefore: ducking, splashing, otherwise immersing in water likeliest method. (No data on whether Holy Water more effective, though it seems a reasonable assumption.) Research/Develop Hydrokinetic spell, or at least write hydrokinectic macro, just in case. High Priority.

9:16 PM: Supplementary Note: Use of word 'ducking' is no reference to actual duck. Weight of suspected witch relative to weight of a duck is diagnostically irrelevant.

11:31 PM: Waterproof lab.

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Canon for Banner Ad in G minor. [Oct. 19th, 2009|11:47 am]
Why suffer yellow teeth?

Learn about the secret a single mom discovered:

Namely, that claiming to be a single mom who discovered something apparently makes people click on your banner ads, none of which actually have anything to do with teeth!

Also, this dancing man wants to tell you that Obama wants moms to go back to college.

Presumably so that they can discover cures for yellow teeth.
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Dear Webcomics. [Oct. 5th, 2009|09:25 am]
Philosophers aren't like Doctors or Plumbers, in that there is more or less a concensus among them about topics relating to their profession. The likelihood of a philosopher agreeing on any given philosophical topic with any given non-philosopher is much greater than the likelihood of that philosopher agreeing with any other philosopher on exactly the same topic.

Therefore, you really do need to stop saying things like "Philosophers say X" or "as Philosophers tell us, X is the case" or "but Philosophy holds the opposite view to Science."

I'm looking at you, Dinosaur Comics.

Love,
-Me.


P.S. The same goes for "Religion."
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If Only I Were A Roman. [Oct. 1st, 2009|11:02 am]
Last evening, there was a hawk perched on the lamppost right outside the student center.

It was ripping apart a squirrel.

The freshmen were gathered around saying "Eeeeeew" and gawking.

Eventually the hawk seemed to suddenly notice the crowd it had drawn, fixed them with a very weirded-out look, snatched up what remained of its dead squirrel, and flew off.

I'm fairly certain that if I knew a priest of Jupiter or Quirinus, he'd be able to tell me what that was supposed to be an omen of. The closest I can figure is "you will be stared at rudely by strangers when you eat in public."

Which is, I suppose, perfectly possible.
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I Suspect I Have Written Excessively Many Poems About Fall. [Sep. 22nd, 2009|10:17 pm]
Autumn, she is loitering down in the market square,
Where they are selling scarlet fruit and golden-tassled sheaves,
Where on the fitted cobblestones there lies a drift of leaves,
And any citizen who looks will see her walking there.
She talks of truth and beauty, and the shameful price of bread.
She laughs at you, and passes you another glass of beer.
She wears a long brown coat, for it gets cold this time of year,
And living sprigs of bittersweet wound round her nut-brown head.
The old and weary gods stop by. She knows them each by name,
For Autumn is a pagan, and is far older than I.
Red leaves, grey clouds, and harvest smells all haunt her heathen sky
For Autumn is a pagan, and I love her just the same.

Spring is an agnostic, and she does not care to know
The names of any firework flowers that bloom around her feet.
She is too young to recognize the homeless in the street,
But smiles at them to let them thaw a bit before they go.
Some days she is a Pantheist: then every bloom is good,
The bees are buzzing hymns, and if they sting you feel no pain.
Some days she is a Buddhist and desires only more rain.
Spring has delight in her heartbeat and madness in her blood.
But Autumn is a pagan, and she is worldly wise.
She is older, she is sadder. She knows everything, I think.
She knows why sacrifice is holy even in its stink,
And she is who I see at night when I have shut my eyes.

Summer is an atheist, loud, angry, unafraid.
When he gets drunk his bitter laughter thunders in black storms.
When he lays down to sleep at last the night remaineth warm:
He gave his word it would, you see, and all his debts are paid.
He forgives not. He forgets not. And to defend his own
He will crush you, or bleed himself, do whatever he must.
He is the very superman. A lusty youth, and just,
And if he fears old age and time, he does not make it shown.
But Autumn is a pagan, and she has a gentler soul.
She knows she did not make the world, and loves more therefore.
She does not rage, she pours another cider draght. Her door
Is open to the cool breeze, and she has my heart in whole.

Winter is a Christian. He is virginal and cold.
I think he thinks the world and I will come to little good,
But still, he keeps good Christmas, as a decent Christian should,
And he will never notice if he ever does grow old.
His are the silenced days between long lone abyss of night.
What hope he has for warmth is faith in warmth beyond himself.
His skin is pale as death, and he has never had good health,
And in my soul I fear him, that he will be proven right.
But Autumn is a pagan, and before the Winter comes
We'll go to the fair together, we will muse on easeful death,
We will work wild useless magic with a windowpane and breath,
We will walk the crimson pathless woods to hear the pheasant drums,
We'll taste the chill blue northers as the sweep the sky above,
And she will be slightly holy, like a quiet household ghost.
With harvest charms, and mysteries, and fair but unseen host.
Aye, Autumn is a pagan, and it's Autumn who I love.
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House Is Wasting Opportunities for Titles. [Sep. 19th, 2009|02:04 pm]
So there was an episode of House, apparently, wherein Mean Hugh Laurie hallucinates that a Dead Girl is following him around and speaking for his subconscious mind. And they called that episode "A House Divided." Which is brilliant.

THEN they had an episode wherein Mean Hugh Laurie starts hallucinating other dead people too.

And they DIDN'T call that episode "Haunted House."

What a waste. A sad, sad waste.
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Like Escaflowne Meets Excell Saga. [Aug. 25th, 2009|09:39 pm]
They for serious need to make an anime based on the life of H. Nelson Jackson.

He Drove Across the Continent with a Dog that Wore Goggles. What more could you ask for?!

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A Possibly Lost Art. [Aug. 21st, 2009|09:52 am]
Here's something I'm curious about: when you write, as in with a pen or pencil on paper, whether it's a grocery list or class notes or a note to your wife/husband/alien overlord/whatever, do you do it in cursive?

I don't. And I'm willing to wager that not many of you do, either.

And I write longhand a lot. In addition to class notes, I write all my poems out on paper (I don't know why I can't do it on a keyboard, but it just doesn't work that way.) But I don't use cursive. I print. The only time I use cursive is my signature. And it's not because I can't write cursive.

I think it's because I'm so used to reading and writing print text on the computer, that cursive doesn't occur to me as a thing to use when I go to write offline. If you have two options for how you do a given thing, let's say, and 99 out of a hundred times you see or do that thing you take option one, you're not very likely to even think of using option two.

Anyway, I'd be interested in hearing if you guys use cursive, so I can have some idea whether I'm full of it here.
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I Visited A Heavy Metal Album Cover Today. [Aug. 7th, 2009|07:11 pm]
Picture a huge, perfectly flat beach. On either side are cliffs, covered with dry brown grass and the occasional tumbleweed.

I would estimate half a mile between where the plants stop and the water starts.

As you walk across it, you realize that although there is plenty of sand blowing around, the top of the sand you are walking on has actually become a jagged and brittle crust from all the salt in it.

Halfway to the water, you start seeing all the bird skeletons.

The water itself has whitecaps, but not waves, so it always appears to be foaming or boiling.

And all this is taking place underneath a perpetual cloud that comes off the lake at all times. Said cloud has a number of strange chemical properties, from minerals that dry on the beaches and then are carried into the cloud by the wind to be redissolved within the cloud: for one, the cloud isn't white or grey, rather it is purple and orange. And it is of a peculiar density, such that the sun can almost always be seen through it, but dimmed to the point that it is easily observable with the naked eye.

Also, the sun is RED.

CHERRY CANDY RED.

So yeah.

The Great Salt lake is a bit creepy. Creepy AWESOME.
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Saying 'That Was a Good Day' Would Summon Gamera or Something, So I Won't, But it Was Anyway. [Aug. 3rd, 2009|10:05 am]
[Current Mood | happy]

Spent the whole day with [info]star_ringer at an amusement park. There were roller coasters and waterslides and swimming and tilt-a-whirls and slurpees and that thing where there's all those swings hanging by a chain and it spins and more roller coasters and fountains and very nice landscaping and gondola rides.

I suspect that it was a date.

I liked it.

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Hrak and Natya and the Tyrrany of Sorrin. [Jul. 31st, 2009|08:57 pm]
In the days when Sorrin ruled the people with an steel fist, he commanded that they build for him a mighty temple to sacrifice to him and worship him. And he dwelt therin, and he made priests of some of the people, and they dwelt therin too.

Read more... )

TO BE CONTINUED

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Poetry Watch. [Jul. 30th, 2009|12:04 pm]
If I'm using that whole private mythology thing in multiple poems (and entries,) might it be a good idea to tag them all the same?

Anyway.

This one contains Botany.

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A Romantic Getaway. [Jul. 29th, 2009|08:47 pm]
When one is visiting one's long-distance boyfriend, it is very important to be prepared for the possibility that the toilet will spontaneously explode, and that water will seep through the basement ceiling and get all over the floor, and you'll have to mop it up and leave a fan on it all night and in the meantime have no toilet.

It's one of the basic hazards.
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Back. [Jul. 24th, 2009|10:16 am]
So now I have Internet access again. Thanks for all the kind thoughts.

I'm gonna try to put, well, anything at all up here more often. Starting with the following:

Suppose that you were traveling through East Africa with a woman named Molly Antonius, who worked as a wine steward in a french restaurant, and you wanted to comment to her about the high quality of the food you've just had and how its high quality is characteristic of the region. What's the proper way to do this?

Easy. "So, Molly A, Somallier, some meal, eh? Somalia."

And now you know.

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In A Motel. [May. 15th, 2009|07:06 pm]
So I am currently on the way to my grandfather's funeral. Writing this in a motel in Missouri.

This is mostly to get the previous journal off the top, and to say thank you for the condolences.
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